Cultivating Christ~

Today was Sunday and therefore--like many of you--it was a day to gather with our church.
Let me first say (yes, as a side-note) that if you do not have a church that you call FAMILY, you need to find one. I'm not telling you to come be a part of ours *though you are joyfully welcome to*... but whatever you do, whomever you find and wherever you go to gather as Christ's children...

GO.

Throughout the message from our pastor today, I found myself celebrating inwardly--rejoicing in the refreshment of God's Solid Word--that feeling you get EVERY TIME (no matter where you are and who your with) you take the Life Food that the Bible IS! Steve was speaking on God's desires for us--the dutiful part of being a Christian----not to claim that our actions ever win or alter our salvation, but they are written out and commanded clearly for a reason. He spoke on (and we sang one of the all-time greatest hymns together on it too) Christ being our foundation...our Rock.
Yes. We ALL know the hymn and it's awesome words.

On Christ the Solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand... all other ground is sinking sand.

Sinking sand.
Like quick sand. Sand that not only falls... but SINKS... and takes you with it!

I found myself very moved to write a blog titled something like this and even took out my phone to write myself a reminder note so that 'get to a computer this second' inspiration wouldn't be lost in the lapse of time that I couldn't.

Fast forward to church dismissing.

Smiles to each and every person I could make eye-contact with--
because these days, I believe even just that can be used to bless a person.
Let me climb onto another soap-box for a second and drive a notion (one I gained from a message just two weeks prior) that every person I come in contact with, every day, is more precious than anything I have, could have or will ever have. Giving the clothes right off your back?
Yes. This is that very picture and example. So whenever you are anywhere, around anyone (ie: not alone with God) interact purposefully and genuinely with the people around you, for they may be 'strangers' but they are still your brothers and sisters whom Christ loves and sacrificed dearly for.. and you just don't know how God may use you to reach them.

Whew.
Sorry for all the preaching.
My fingers can hardly keep up with my heart right now.

Back to my previous sharings.

So, the picture you see here is not just any garden, *and by the way, this is only the front half* though I know this time of the year is one where it seems like eeeeeeveryone is posting pics of their fresh fruits and veggies and showing everyone their prides and joys of homegrown produce. Although this looks like a picture of 'just another awesome garden,' it's not the garden itself that is the true blessing (though 2000 lbs of produce this gave our church and community after one year, just last year is a pretty awesome one and impressive indeed) but it's the hands behind it.

One of the very lovable, very 'under the radar' members of our congregation--brothers of our family--quietly started this garden with a vision last year. A vision of putting his hands in the dirt--God's raw earth--planting, preening and tending to thousands of little plants so they may eventually bear fruit (and veggies) for his brothers and sisters to be nourished by.
Just today, Steve touched on the different desires Christ has for us--even warnings that come along with us not heeding these desires and commandments--and one of them was doing good things with the requirement of others recognition.
You know what I'm talking about. We are ALL guilty of pride--birthed from our sinful blood--and falling into the desire to be seen as 'good little Christians' to others, delighting and even thriving on people seeing us this way. And yes, there is no such thing anyway as a 'good little Christian', but I think there is an even more subtle part of this phrase to meditate on... 'people seeing us'... and our need for that at all. Not just how they see us, but that we need them to!!! Christ doesn't want this for us. Abiding in Him means that absolutely zero parts of this world affect or can possibly infect the Joy that He offers, daily.


The hands behind our church's garden happen to belong to a man who was once also a music student of mine. A quiet teddy-bear of a man who never married and absolutely ABIDES, still, in Christ's love.
That 43-yr-old man hugged me today while we were celebrating over this amazing vision come true--the awesome fruits of his labor and the blessings from God that have come over what this garden has become in just a year's time--

and in the midst of that genuine bear-hug that I've always known him for..
he whispered into my ear that he was just diagnosed in mid-June with terminal leukemia.


Lord Jesus, come.


Many of you now, whether in person or through a private message, have told me I'm 'inspiring' to you.
You've said you just can't get over how 'I've taken my news'... that I've 'just handled it with such grace and trust in the Lord.'
I've offered my feelings on this already, more than once by saying, Hey.. I'm just doing what it takes to get through this. This is the only way I know how.'

But today, looking at my friend--looking into his glassy eyes and listening to him joyfully say to me that with these last few years he's now been given to live--it's bucket-list time. Things like traveling to Scotland to start up a community garden for the poor. Things like retiring early so he has more time to interact with and touch lives--bring people to know the Truth, however God may use him. Things like finding outstanding new homes for his beloved little dogs that will be out-living him.
Things like...
growing our church's garden... even BIGGER and more extraordinarily than it already is (but only if he can do so quietly and unnamed.) These are the things he plans to spend his last chunk of time doing.


People.
Friends. Family.
Strangers...
You say to me you're not sure how you'd respond if you were 'one of us'... received some life-altering diagnosis, like we have. But I say to YOU....... if you DON'T know that you would respond in such joy and fortitude and want, more than ever to touch God's Spirit--dig your hands in DEEPLY and CULTIVATE CHRIST--then I encourage you to call on Him and Seek His Face more truly because it is in Him ONLY that this 'response' to our challenges and 'mountains,' comes.

I DO NOT AND WILL NOT TAKE THE CREDIT.
EVER.

My friend taught me something rich, today. Something I've *sort of* known already but now something that I can articulate and percolate on with each gift of a moment...
and I PLEAD IN PRAYER that we all, no matter where life is, no matter what our circumstances *how many times do I have to say this?!* CLING TO HIM, for ALL of our days are numbered.

SHARE HIM.

Today.
EVERY day.
Plead for His Covering.
Tend to the garden of PEOPLE He has placed around you.



And quietly--humbly--and Joyfully... Cultivate HIM~

The Tan to Last a Lifetime...

Well.
Let's see here.

The last time I 'graced' you with my flapping jaw was twenty days ago *exactly in fact* and many things were on the horizon.
Yes, we were comfortably distracted with father's day and celebrations of the daddy in OUR life--namely, my kids' lives--who is above and beyond anything we could ever ask for. (Hope you enjoyed those old snaps of years past).

But now, ironically, life is daddy-less. Yes, temporarily. But still. Such irony.

For the past 3 weeks (and one day), the boys and I have been living in Eugene with Aaron's parents--my lovely parent-in-love's--while I undergo daily radiation treatments. So far, it hasn't been more than just an annoyance to the day's schedule--meaning--not much for nasty side-effects.
Certainly nothing like chemo.

Many survivors used the phrase 'a walk in the park' to describe radiation compared to chemo--and sorry if I'm slow to jump on that phrase-wagon--but frankly NONE of this journey has been as nice as a walk in the park. Ha, I wish! However...I believe the operative part of the phrase here is 'COMPARED TO,' but then, what isn't better than chemo, lol! Would I rather touch my hand briefly to a hot stove vs go through chemo again? Yes. Would I rather fracture something? Possibly. Though of course, you could really challenge this notion and make me choose chemo--I'm just making the point that chemo--*cause you don't already know this* was a blecky thing I don't want to do again.
E.V.E.R.

K. Now that that's cleared up. :-P Where was I. Oh YEAH.

So, radiation. It's really not bad at all. *yet* BUT... I still have 3 1/2 weeks to go before I'm done so that story could change. For example, just after talking to my beloved c-sister last night I'd be lying if I weren't now nervous--she's 3 weeks ahead of me and to quote her 'my skin is opening up'--hmmm. How's THAT for a lovely picture?!! :(

My doctor *faaaaaaabulous woman!* tells me that only about 2% of her patients see that kind of awful skin issue though, and waaaaay before my skin did do that *if it were going to* she'd schedule a mandatory break in my radiation schedule.
In other words... that's about the worst it could get.

Ok. So, since many *I hope most* of you haven't experienced radiation yourselves, allow me to give you a brief 'peek' into that lovely world.


Much like with my AC rounds of chemo, the first thought you have when the technicians come and retrieve you from the waiting room, take you through a huge, heavy metal SEALING door that has hazard phrases and symbols all over it, lay you on a bed under the machine that said signs are warning of, set the settings and line you up, make a little 'lightweight,' pay-no-attention-to-the-elephant-in-the-room conversation with you and then LEAVE through the metal sealing door before turning on the machine so as to protect themselves from the harmful rays surging through the room and whole area......is..
REALLY?!
Yep. Disturbing.
But then, it's just one more vivid picture of the MONSTER we're trying to kill.
And WHAT IT TAKES TO KILL IT.
Yikes.

So what exactly is 'life under the machine' like?

Well. The first time I was in there I found myself thinking (aside from the consideration of course of horrible radiation exposure they'd endure), 'I sure wish my boys could see this'--cause it reminded me of the movie Wall-E. This giant 'eye' with a bunch of separate sliding plates that act like a camera shutter to change the shape and size of the 'lens' gets pointed at you. Meantime, you lay flat on the table, inside of a crazy body form they made at the '0-day' appointment with your arms raised above your head, holding onto metal arms and laying as still as possible (minus the breathing). The 'eye' does it's beaming and honking and then 'flies' above you, into another position for another angle. I figured out, within about the first three appointments, that my particular treatments involve three separate positions--once nearly directly above me, once to my left, beaming sideways and then once underneath, pointing up at me.
THEN, every other day is termed 'bolus day' because they lay this silicone-like thick 'skin' across my chest that, supposedly, BOOSTS the level and depth of radiation that my body receives. The whole process takes about 10 minutes (15 on bolus days, cause they have to tape it onto me so it fits snug-ly.)

ASIDE from that 15 minutes a day that I get to receive the world's wrongest form of 'sun exposure,' and therefore the most twisted way of gaining a permanent summer tan--mind you, only on the right side of my body!--we've been making the most of our time as Eugenites. It's weird for me to drive us around--or was at first, anyway--because for the 7 years that Eugene was 'home' for me, despite the 10 years it hasn't been, I still remember my way completely around. Even downtown, which was mildly hazy for me, came flooding back in my memory of what street randomly urns to a one-way, where *cause we ALL know how obnoxiously Eugene streets do that!*, what market and/or eatery is where, etc. ;) The brain is an amazing thing. Even AFTER chemo, ha!

To summarize what we've done (mostly for free due to generosities of friends and/or well-seeking sis-in-law's for free summer-fun), here's a list, in no particular order:

Strawberry picking, Putter's mini-golf, VBS, swimming, Kids Club at the mall, Kids Club at the rodeo grounds, library days, library story-time, farm visits, cousin-time, an Em's game, play-dates, dinner/lunch-outings.

What we have to look forward to still:
Country Club visit and swim-time, swimming lessons at Amazon Pool, another VBS possibly, backyard campout with family, neighborhood block-party for the 4th--complete with fireworks, more play-dates, Chuck E. Cheese, possible $1 movie-night outing, free water park visit, baby cousin's birth?
Yep. We are definitely making the most out of this 6 weeks. An adventure for sure. ;)

It's good though. The boys need me to keep them busy--keep their minds off of their daddy, cancer, and the overall general lack of normalcy in our lives, these days.

BUT. They also still need *as does their mommy* to remember that no matter what--
GOD IS STILL GOOD.

Gray asked me the other day, 'Mom...does your radiation hurt you? To which I replied..'Not really that I can feel, honey...except once my skin gets a little irritated, if that happens before I'm done.' To which he replied. 'That's good...cause if not, I was going to offer to pray about your pain.'

Yep. Thanks, son. Thanks for the reminder that God is still there... and He's still my healer... and He's never stopped seeing and caring for and about us.
So though I'm gaining a funky 'tan' that may never go away, I'm radiatING with something else that has and will last the rest of my life...the ONLY thing I need and the ONLY thing that matters.

God's Abiding Love~

A Great Dad...

A Great Dad...


Provides a good chest for you to snooze on,

And a soft shoulder for you to lean on.

His shoulders are also perfect for riding.

And when he's not carrying you in someway,

He's equally happy to push you.

Or just give you that extra boost that you need.

He takes you lots of places,

And teaches you lots of neat things.

Like how to throw rocks.

 And do pull-ups on the playground.

And stroke a club around.

And dribble a soccer ball.

And shoot a mean hoop...

 Since he, himself is a church-league champion teammate!

He skates a mean blade--and proudly holds your hand while doing so.

He tackles the most intimidating water-slide with you on his lap and beams with pride, afterward.

He knows a good team when he sees one...

And makes sure to pass on the passion.

He's also extremely handy when it comes to stuff like assembling your first big-boy bed.

Transporting and assembling your Christmas tree.

And building you your first swing-set!

He knows a good hat when he sees one.

And teaches you to play with fire...at a safe level.

He's all around just a big kid... and one of your favorite playmates of all time.

He'll happily ride your kiddy-coaster...

But still make sure to show you 'how it's done' on the bigger, ones, too!

He's fifty-times hotter than Luke Perry...

 And knows how to dress!

He can show up Iron Man while introducing you to a good brew.

But still makes sure that you know Our GOD is the ultimate 'super-hero.'

He shows you the in's and out's of a good foot-rub...

And how to truly treat a lady by being the world's best husband to your mom.

Seeing her through cancer...

And sticking by her side through all the ups and downs of life's real game.

He can draw a mean Donald Duck, with you at his side.

And is the best at reading bedtime stories and singing the 'Sunshine song.' 

He knows good bbq and is the Grill KING of the Big Green Egg, himself!

And although your life is not the perfect fairytale and he's not perfect (cause who is?)

You know that no matter what,

God blessed you with a dad who works HARD for you and your family and would give up his life for you in a mere second!

And from year-to-year, as another eve comes on which to bang those pots and pans...

His love for you just grows richer, stronger and deeper.

And for him, you can proudly say the same.



*Happy Dad's Day, to our daddy who is perfect, FOR US~